These last few months, I've had a tremendous amount of spiritual fruit borne from a topic that I never really dipped into until recently: the Ascension of Jesus into Heaven.
It all started with me complaining to Christ in prayer one day: "Why are you taking so long to return?"
The inaudible response was clear: "Patience, James. I'm still embracing my Father."
It hit me like a ton of bricks. Jesus was fully human, and had human emotions. Yet as fully divine, his union with the Father within the Trinity was the very essence of his existence. I thought of how this swirling lovers' dance of Father, Son, and Spirit was all he knew - and it was and is indeed everything. Yet he shed that divine union, not clinging to it when he became man. And he missed it; he longed for it. He took on man's fallen form, which lacked the Trinitarian cohesion which was the very nature of his being. The divine plural became a divine singular. Yes, he was still fully God and still fully Divine, but paradoxically he also wasn't at the same time that he was. The latter is the state of humanity: created for union with God, yet splintered away through sin. It was that splintering which he came to seal up again.
The Catechism defines the reason for the Church's evangelical mission: "The ultimate purpose of mission is none other than to make men share in the communion between the Father and the Son in the Spirit of love." (CCC 850)
The very character of the nature of the Trinity is thus our goal and our end. We were created to enter into union with these three Divine Persons.
Jesus missed the Father. It was why he prayed. He sought his Father out at every opportunity, knowing that only by carving off significant chunks of time to seek a glimpse of that lost Trinitarian unity (yes, I know, it wasn't lost, but it also kind of was... just bear with me for the purpose of this meditation; now that the hair has been split asunder, I shan't split it again) could he recapture a fragment of what he had known before being born of a virgin.
With this in mind, I re-read the Gospels. As I read how Jesus as a twelve year old stayed behind in Jerusalem and let Joseph and Mary go on without him just so he could be in his Father's house, I realized how instinctive and elemental his desire for the Father was. It was such a part of his nature that he didn't comprehend how anybody wouldn't look for him in the Temple before any other place.
In his adult ministry, I was amazed to see how often Jesus squirrelled away to pray, dodging the crowds and his disciples. It was his default activity: the one thing he did when he had nothing else to do, and the one thing he made time for by shirking off other responsibilities.
My default activity is pulling out my phone.
If Jesus himself regularly needed to spend serious time to seek communion with the Father, should I be doing any less? This insight has convicted me, and has given me a deeper longing for prayer than I've ever felt before.
I read how he hinted at his ultimate purpose - to bring us into the communion of the Trinity - when he taught us the scandalous phrase: "Our Father."
He suffered the most complete separation from the Father on the Cross. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" And yet we also see his complete trust in the Father who had abandoned him: "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit."
And then when he rose, and Mary Magdalene found him at the tomb, Jesus says to her, "Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to my Father."
I've always wondered at that. It seems like kind of a jerk move. Jesus has to know how badly Mary's heart broke at his death, and how high it soared at seeing him resurrected. Why would he not permit her to embrace him? Accept a hug, dude!
I think it was because he was simply excited to return. His mission was complete, his separation was over, and all that remained was to rejoin the Father and the Spirit in their intimate embrace of love. As much as he loved Mary, his love for the Father was far, far greater.
And then here's the best part. Jesus adds, "But go to my brothers and tell them, 'I am going to my Father and to your Father, to my God and your God.'" We are now his brothers! We now have the same Father!
Time and space are funny things when one considers the Incarnation. I don't understand why Jesus had to ascend physically up in order to return to the Father, but that's what he did. However long that ascension took after he disappeared into the clouds, I now think that the burst of love at the moment of Divine Reunion is what sent the Holy Spirit rushing forth at Pentecost, unleashed upon the disciples and all who would receive him in the ages to come.
So why hasn't Jesus returned yet? I think it's because he's still celebrating the completion of his mission, and that he is lost in the embrace of the Father.
You've had those moments, haven't you? Those times when you finally see a loved one long absent, and the embrace just lasts and lasts and lasts... until the moment when it just feels like the hug has been long enough and you both reluctantly pull away, yet remain together, smiling through tears, staring into those eyes... catching up on missed memories.
That's what the Son and the Father are doing right now. He hasn't forgotten about us. He hasn't abandoned us. He hasn't left us to stew in our juices and figure out our own solutions. No - he's simply rejoicing in his Reunification.
Let's allow him that triumph, while we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.
