Thursday, September 29, 2005

I Need a Revival

Did you ever get those moments when you can really feel the work of God in your life? When the new springtime of the Church is sprouting up life abundantly, and you are filled with a sublime peace despite all the world's woe?

I have.

But it's been a while.

Traditionally, these dry spells in one's walk are what I have heard referred to as "the desert." There isn't much in the way of life around, and the air itself seems parched with thirst.

About a month ago, we moved (a mere 5 min drive from our previous house, to be closer to school), and since that bit of turmoil, our prayer life has diminished significantly.

We used to do a daily Rosary, my wife and I, but I think we've fingered the beads about 3 times under the new roof. We used to do the Liturgy of the Hours Evening Prayers (or at least Night Prayers) with our children at bedtime, in addition to their "kid prayers." But that's been relatively rare recently too. I had just gotten into the habit of starting the day off with Morning Prayers too, but I don't think I've done that at all in the new place.

Yeah, the move tired us out, and yeah, we had the additional stress of our eldest starting school, and yeah, there are a million excuses. None of which, I'm sure, would carry any weight before the Judge.

Inasmuch as I do need to revive my prayer life and get reconnected to Christ, I'm under no illusion about using emotions as a spiritual litmus test. I went through a phase, as do most Christians during their maturation process, where I believed if I didn't feel a tingle in my spine that the Holy Spirit wasn't really working in me. There was a time when I believed that when I wasn't happy, that God wasn't happy with me.

How arrogant was that! To think that God's mood was dependent on mine!

So while I acknowledge that I'm in a desert, that doesn't mean that there can be no fruit here. Even the cactus flowers. So I apply my problem solving technique: find the absolute (profound communion with Christ), evaluate where I am in relation to it (somewhat lacking), and change where I am (the hard part).

I'll be receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation via my priest this weekend, and traditionally his advice has been to pray: somewhat of a cliche, but true nonetheless. So in anticipation of his penance, I will pray starting now.

A long time ago, back in my Protestant days, someone told me the best prayer you can make for yourself or for somebody else is to petition for an increased hunger for God. So in the off chance that God should happen to read my blog (hey, who put my tongue in my cheek?), that is my prayer, Lord - cause my hunger for you to grow.

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