There are few things as pleasant in this life than a sharp, pungent block of cheese. Oh, yes, of course there are other things that are somewhat enjoyable, but one of my favorite ways of kicking back and relaxing is by chowing down on some sliced marble cheddar or brie and watching The Pirates of the Caribbean.
I'll admit that cheese can somewhat... bung you up, but it's a price worth paying. When God invented cheese, he also invented high-quality plungers to compensate. Smart guy, that God fella.
Cheese is, as most people know, associated with wine, which is associated with France, which is the only link I can draw between why Britain has declared cheese to be a junk food, and thus no TV ads can air during kids' shows to promote the purchasing of cheese. All in the fight against obesity, naturally.
So I'm torn - here's me, the dude who has more ancestors from England than anywhere else, and thus I feel a certain connection to all things British (blood pudding - yum!). But my land of my heritage has declared my favorite food unfit for consumption (at least by young TV viewers), and so I am mightily confused as to which side to pick.
Well... on further introspection, I think I'll have to choose cheese. After all, what has Britain done for me lately?
Now, where's that plunger?