Ruts, and the Wheels Therein A' Spinnin'

Years before I was married, I made a list of the qualities I wanted in a wife. One of them stated, "She must always challenge me to become more than I currently am."

Boy, did that one ever come back to haunt me.

Last night my wife and I had a good discussion about my current disposition towards all things Protestant. She pointed out to me that I tend to be somewhat self-righteous in my contempt, and that may be turning more of my estranged Christian brethren away from the Catholic Church.

You see, I tend to compare my own journey to Rome to a man who has been told for his whole life that he was blind in one eye, only to discover that the eye had been taped shut since birth. When he finally realizes the tape is there and removes it, his whole perspective is shifted, and he can regard the world with a depth and focus not previously possible.

Logically, the man would be upset with those who had led him to believe that his imperfect vision was normal. But he (and I) must remember that those who so taught were also under that impression themselves. To their minds, it wasn't a lie because they didn't know it was false. But when they see me walking around with both eyes open, they are confused and often consider me a lost cause.

So I spend a lot of time being angry and pointlessly spinning my spiritual tires, while the need to open the eyes of the half-blind remains unfulfilled. That's very prideful, and very egocentric, and very selfish.

It must stop.

Lord, please help me to surrender away the hurt. Please heal my unwarranted wounds, my illogical ills. Help me to be an effective tool, instead of a whimpering nut.