This Just In #6:*
Stephen Harper Endorses Killing Kittens
So I held a conference on the weekend in protest against the brutal act of putting kittens in blenders. Innumerable other people showed up [hehe], but although I invited Prime Minister Harper, he didn't attend.
I wondered why at first, but then I realized - he hates kittens.
I did some digging, and was astonished to find this picture:
Notice he's gesturing with his left hand, pointing away from what he's doing with his right hand:
Instead, he sent the Minster of Hugging Puppies to my conference. That was insulting.