Secret Darkness & Public Light
Our parish had its Lenten reconciliation service tonight. In preparation, I found Fr. Pat's examination of conscience and went through it, making note of some old sins and some new ones.
My struggle with lust continues, and in my clever wickedness I've now found two ways around CyberPatrol. This is driving me crazy - I'm not even a hacker, and I figured out how to totally shut it down. They assure one that any attempts to remove its files will result in lost internet connectivity and a forced reinstall by the CyberPatrol HQ administrator (my wife). But I proved them wrong. You'd almost think I was getting help from an external source.
I'm pretty sure I am - for while I am smart, and can be persistent when I need to be, the workaround I figured out was a total fluke. If I ever needed proof that the evil one likes it when we sin, this is it.
I sent CyberPatrol an email, detailing how I got around their software and asking them to fix it. Since all product enhancements for every piece of software are usually rolled out within days, I expect immediate results. (That was sarcasm, for those of you unfamiliar with my sense of humour).
So again, this is coming down to self-control. I've asked for my readers' help via accountability; I now also ask for your prayers.
St. Benedict, please help me too! You threw yourself into thornbushes to preserve your purity, so you must have some pointers. (ooh, hey, that's a pun!)
One thing I'm doing for sure: turning my computer around so the screen can be seen from the hallway.
Lord, sometimes it is too much for we who are frail to stand strong against the emptiness, and so we sin thought and in word, in what have done and what we have failed to do. In your mercy Lord, we ask that you would so fill our emptiness with good things from above, from our Father with whom there is no changing, that we would not be taken in, even by ourselves. Full of you Lord and not in need of the emptiness.
ReplyDeleteAnd, to you our Holy Mother we ask for the compassion of a mother's love to guard our heart and eyes through your honourable and constant intercession to your blessed Son, our Lord, Jesus.
That's a tough struggle you're facing, brother, and one whose boundaries are fuzzy indeed, because so much of our mainstream life is filled with images that used to be considered outrageous.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you choosing to not fight this in private. I'll pray for you.