I've been spending more time in prayer these last few days, journaling my experiences and insights in a binder which I've come to refer to as Compass. In trying to find my bearings in this desert, it has occurred to me that I must allow God to point the way, and my private prayer life has been dismal for several years.
Many things can keep us from God, but the all-time favourite excuse we feed ourselves is that we're too busy to spend any real time alone with him. So we tell ourselves that our work is our prayer, or that our family time is our prayer time, or we try to multi-task our prayer time with cursing at fellow drivers while commuting to and from work.
Tonight I asked God for a touch of real intimacy with him. I found a quiet corner, lit some blessed candles, read some Scripture, and waited. God granted my request, and assured me there's more to come.
How can I explain it? I've encountered the risen Lord in a completely new manner, and I'm left hungry for more, yet completely satisfied at the same time. All I brought to him was my desire to be near him, and he has answered me. And yet there is a sense of mission and strategy in how he is revealing himself to me... I'm sure there's more to come.