Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Want an Easy Way Into Canada?

Attention American criminals, or anybody desperately wanting to get into Canada!

There is an easy way in, if you want to avoid the emotional discomfort of this type of conversation:

Canadian Border Guard: "Where ya going to, eh?"
Murder Suspect Fleeing Police: "I'm wanted for murder and need a place to lie low for a bit."
CBG: "Bringing any liquor into the country?"
MSFP: "Only what's already in my system."
CBG: "Any weapons?"
MSFP: "Hell yeah."
CBG: "I'm afraid I can't let you in, eh."
MSFP: "Ok, I guess I'll go turn myself in peacefully."

Most criminals don't want things to go that way. So if you are fleeing police, simply phone ahead and let Canada Border Services know you're coming, and that you're armed and dangerous. They'll leave their posts "if they believe they are in imminent danger" - and who can blame them, for they aren't allowed to carry firearms - so you'll have a clear path through.

That is, if those pesky Yanks don't get in your way (thanks to the unnamed deputy sheriff who stopped them, by the way).

If this had happened a few days ago, we might have had a Conservative majority.

No disrespect to our fine men and women who guard the border - kudos, in fact: it speaks volumes of your bravery that you approach each visitor (a.k.a. potential threat) with no recourse to defend yourself or your country. Here's hoping our new government will give you the tools you need!

h/t Small Dead Animals

1 comment:

  1. When I first heard this story, I thought of a Monty Python skit -- "run away, run away", which was acknowledged in Finding Nemo with "swim away, swim away". Then I thought, yes they should be armed. But then I thought again, being armed does not change the fact that they could be in imminent danger, so they might still run away, only slower because they now had guns. So, now I don't know what to think.


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